so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
