I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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