So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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