I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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