Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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