Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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