I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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