i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
