All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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