WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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