My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
