is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
