Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
