saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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