also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
