her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
