I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I think I just sharted jello shots
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