in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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