Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize