You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
