I cannot find my penis.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
