i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
