The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
