I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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