I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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