Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
