white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
