did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
