how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
