Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
two words: eviction party
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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