Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
