Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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