but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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