I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
