I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
