Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so let's talk penis.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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