Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
