she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
