Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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