break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
