I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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