I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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