i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
