He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
