oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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