She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
