party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
