i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize