well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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