their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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