I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
