what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
