Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
