I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
