Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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