Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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