one two three fourrrrnication!
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
