i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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