u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
