i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
