whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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