Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
