dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
