I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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